by Lauren Jonik

Living in the northeastern US, Spring always feels especially welcome. The cold, snowy days of March transform into the rainy days of April. The hardness of the once frozen ground slowly gives way to softness. But, in order for the flowers to bloom, they must grow through mud, up, up, up towards the sun, towards where the light and warmth are. The metaphor is not lost on me: growth is sometimes hard, sometimes, messy, but as I push through what has held me back—the dark, still places—I too can find greater illumination, more warmth and a new kind of blossoming. Spring reminds me that no matter how harsh the winter, there is always newness, beauty and another chance to flourish in authenticity. The process might not be easy, but it always will be worth it.

Here are tips for how to up-level your life and your world this Spring. Some may resonate with you, others may not. Borrow what is useful to you and leave the rest.

Begin your day calmly

There was a time when I jumped out of bed, dashed into the shower, got dressed, ate and ran out the door. It was efficient, but I didn’t feel very good that way. That burst of adrenaline that pushed me into “go, go, go” mode eventually waned and I felt tired. Now, I approach the start of my day differently. After I wake up, before even getting out of bed or (let’s be real…) checking my email, I take about 5 minutes to breathe deeply, do a few yoga poses, meditate and say a prayer or two. I ask for guidance for how I best can serve the world that day. I’m not asking because I know or feel like my contributions will be immense—but for precisely the opposite reason. I am opening myself to being aware of how my gifts and skills can bring greater joy to my life and to those around me. Shifting into this mindset has brought me a new level of peace. It is harder to have bad days or feel down about something when you know you’re needed and the fact is, we are all needed. Everyone has unique talents that can benefit someone else. My life is enriched every day by others in large and small ways. So, by attempting to enrich others’ lives, I am just keeping myself in the circle.

If you want an extra, super-easy, quick dose of inspiration, check out coach/speaker Jenna Armato’s daily YouTube videos called Morning Motivation. Most of the videos are under two minutes long, so even if you are pressed for time to get to work or shuffle the kids out to school, there’s time. Take it.

Refresh your living space

As someone sensitive to external surroundings, refreshing my living space is incredibly important. Different cultures (in particular, those in Germany) extol the virtues of opening the windows and letting in fresh air. The term “Spring cleaning” exists for a reason. Sweeping away the dust of winter—both literally and figuratively—can be powerful. Whether you practice feng shui or just get out a vacuum or broom, most of us feel better when our spaces are clean and less cluttered. As I write this, a pile of magazines and mail eyes me from my desk. (All things are a work in progress!)

It is also important to note that how you clean is as important as that you clean. Indoor air pollution from chemical cleaning products can trigger asthma, allergies, migraines and more. These cleaners bring unnecessary toxins in our homes and eventually, into our natural world. Choose less toxic brands (Seventh Generation is a personal favorite) or make your own. (Is there nothing that baking soda, vinegar and elbow grease cannot do?) If you must use chemical cleaners, do so sparingly and make sure to ventilate the room. Children, pets, the elderly, chronically ill or chemically sensitive are likely to be more impacted, so consider the needs of everyone with whom you share a space.

Review your finances

It is everyone’s favorite time of year: tax time! Just kidding. But this time of year is a great time to review your finances. My parents offered me good advice regarding money as a kid: “Either be good at making money or good at managing it—ideally both.” One of the keys to financial acumen is to have an understanding of where your money is going. When I first moved to NYC, I was out and about almost every night. Some of my adventures were related to my work as a concert photographer and some were related to the fact that I just really enjoyed being part of the world again after having lived through years of adversity related to health. I learned very quickly that costs could quickly add up. So, I found low-cost or free ways to do fun activities. I paid attention to where my money was going and made very active choices—not passive ones. There is nothing wrong with splurging every now and then (as long as you live basically within your means) as long as you are deciding to do it mindfully and not impulsively. Managing your money well (no matter how much or how little you have) is one of the key ways of keeping stress levels down and life flowing as smoothly as possible.

This is also a good time to have private discussions with relatives regarding money. If you have children, begin to pass along age-appropriate lessons. Help them to understand that things don’t just magically appear and that all possessions have a cost. My parents started a bank account for me and my brother when we were kids back when savings accounts actually paid more interest than the amount you’d need to buy a pack of gum. I loved going to the bank with my mom, snagging a free lollipop from the counter and handing my passbook to the teller. I liked watching my money (small amount that it was…) grow.

When I landed a regular babysitting gig at age 11 my dad insisted that I save half of everything I made. I grumbled about it because I had plans to hit the mall (Claire’s and Waldenbooks were having sales, mmmkay?). But, later, when I wanted to purchase an 88-key keyboard so that I could compose songs as a young teen without disturbing my family, the money was there. I had earned it. Knowing that made me feel far more empowered than if someone had just handed it to me.

If you have elderly parents, this is also a great time to discuss with them about their finances. Money can be a touchy topic, but it is important to invite these conversations. Even if your parents don’t wish to disclose the details, it is good to have some idea of where their money is. Several years ago, after an elderly relative of mine who had no direct descendants passed away, it was quite the search to track down where his assets were.

Lastly, remember that money only defines what you have. It does not define who you are. Whether you have wealth or whether you are struggling, the advice my dad gave to me when I was an 11-year-old getting out of the car to go to the movies applies. He handed me a dollar and just as I was about to take it, he yelled, “Don’t flash your cash!” I nodded in agreement and he let the dollar—and me—go. I understood that I had just been given something useful. Our fortunes can always change: be grateful and humble for whatever you have and if you are in need of more, remain hopeful and proactive to the best of your ability.

Release—let go of the old, make room for the new

In addition to possessions that no longer serve us, it is good to release old mindsets, beliefs and sometimes, even relationships and friendships that no longer add mutual value. On Easter, I was tempted to call an old friend who used to be a good friend. But, then I remembered that in the past 3 years since her life changed, she only calls me when she wants advice or to complain about something. I have no problem lending an ear, but I found myself feeling drained by the repetitiveness of the pattern. There had begun to be no reciprocity. I consciously decided to put some distance in the friendship. If things shift again, I will welcome her back. But for now, it feels like I am opening up space in my life for new friendships, relationships and interactions. To quote Anais Nin, “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Sometimes, we have to release old worlds to find new ones.

It is also a great time to release pent-up angers, resentments or doubts. They only hold us back. Like most people, I can think of instances where family members have done things that I’ve found frustrating or annoying. I am sure they could say the same of me. Instead of repeating old patterns, I now try to make good use of the “pause” (wait 10 seconds, breathe and then, respond) and to set clear boundaries from the get-go. As a writer, my “office” is wherever my laptop and I are. But, just because I am in a certain geographical location, it doesn’t mean that I am free to chit-chat. When I am deep in work mode, I need to stay in the zone in order to be effective. But, I can’t expect anyone to know when I am unavailable to communicate unless I communicate just that ahead of time. Boundaries aren’t rejection—they are acceptance that we all have to do certain tasks and sometimes, other things (and people) may have to wait. Conversely, it helps me be more understanding and patient when the people I love need space to do what they’ve got to do. (Note, this doesn’t apply if you are the primary caregiver of a minor child who is at an age when they are totally reliant on you for safety and sustenance.)

Practice self-care

I have to admit, as much as I agree with the concept of self-care, the term has become such a buzzword that now when I hear it, I almost want to roll my eyes because of its overuse. Self-care is not a license to be selfish or to ignore your responsibilities. It is an opportunity to practice assessing what you need, communicating what you can and can’t do, and honoring your needs. Ghosting someone you promised to meet up with later that day because you decided you needed to practice “self-care” by binge watching “Game of Thrones” is only exhibiting concerns about “self” and not enough about “care.” In order to be effective, self-care must include both parts. It is an understanding and acceptance of our humanness. As humans we, as Walt Whitman said, “contain multitudes.”

One of the greatest ways I practice (emphasis on practice—my system is not perfect) self-care is through self-discipline. I do a basic deep breathing and exercise routine every day—bodies are made to move. I eat a particular way. I strive to learn new things because not only is it good for the ol’ neural connections in the brain, it is fun. The world is such a vast, amazing place. There are so many incredible things to discover—and the best part is that most of us have the ability to do that right at our fingertips now. I’m still working on prioritizing rest to the extent I need to. I generally prefer to be awake than asleep, yet my body craves rest and I know that I need it. Now, if every author could just please stop writing incredible books that keep me up past my bedtime, that would solve things for me, but until then, my next area to focus on life is honoring rest.

Reach out

Lastly, reach out. Is there someone who keeps going through your mind for seemingly no reason? Write them an email, text them or pick up the phone. Even better yet, write them a letter—a real letter on paper that you put in an envelope and mail. I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t delight in receiving a piece of mail from a loved one or old friend. Don’t wait. Our connections with ourselves and with each other are some of the most rewarding parts of being alive.

However you celebrate the gifts and opportunities of Spring, may it be a time to renew, release, rejoice and refresh.

 

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Lauren Jonik is a writer and photographer in Brooklyn, NY. Her work has appeared in 12th Street, The Manifest-Station, Two Cities Review, Amendo, The Establishment, Bustle, Calliope and Ravishly. When she is not co-editing TheRefresh.co, she is working towards her Master’s degree in Media Management at The New School. Follow her on Twitter: @laurenjonik.